Father, thank You so much for everything.





I'm going to work soon, because there are some things I really wanna buy... I know, like duh, normally people work right... but, there are some things I had/have to deal with... I know it's not an excuse, and I will be positive. I've had my days with negativity... like a bosom buddy it accompanied me and we spent years understanding each other. I think neither of us will have hard feelings if we part now... it's a gentle parting, an understanding... from now on, I will try my best to be positive, even when things are not looking up. It's not easy, but I will try. I'm a quarter of a century old now... Sometimes, I have this feeling, have I been too late in growing up? But I feel, that it is ok. From now on, only love.



1)MP3 player - my old creative zen nano just died... it's been with me everywhere... Europe, Tokyo, New York... I lost the battery cover on a plane and the whole case was threatening to break apart... one day the screen died and then a few days later the whole thing died. It served me well... I'm thinking of getting an ipod touch... an ipad would be great too but the weight and the cost are factors...

2)Clothes! I love clothes... I love cardigans and sweaters... especially long cardigans, slightly oversized cardigans, printed cardigans, in blue or black or brown or some shade like that... I have many cardigans, but I just can't get enough... i really love them.

Pants! I really like what they have at the Esprit online shop... both pants and cardigans...



Ok, these are the two things I really wanna get, for now...

私、別に全然さびしくなんかないんだからね

今天，遇到了一个很漂亮的女孩
她的男朋友在洛杉矶念书

杉田さん、昨日またあなたの夢を見ました。

When climbing big trees, you have to empty your heart of fear.

If you have fear, you will fall.

-Bayaka honey-gatherer in the Congo Jungle, Human Planet Episode 4

失くしたものの大きさは、失くしたものにしか判らない。だけど失くしたものがある人には、今、持っているものの大切さが判るはずだ。今、その手にあるもの。今、傍にいてくれる人を大切にするんだ。今度は絶対、守るんだって俺に約束しろ。　

＠『星獣戦隊ギンガマン』黒騎士ヒュウガ／小川輝晃



http://twitter.com/tokusatsuhero より

街

作詞：堂本剛　作曲：堂本剛

僕が生きてるこの街は
不思議を潜め呼吸してる
まだそれに気づかず
生きてんだろうなって
斜め前を歩く少年に大人なふり

夢を手に出来ず捨てた日が
時折り胸を打つ
この少年の
歩いてく先に
不思議がたくさん咲いていますように

嘘にぶたれる音は
好きじゃないや
傷しみるけど
今日も戦ってたいな

愛を見失ってしまう時代だ
誰もが持っているんだ
自分を守り生きていく時代だ
だからこそ僕らが
愛を刻もう傷ついたりもするんだけど
痛みまでも見失いたくない

君の影揺れる日が
多くなってる気がする
小ちゃい男で終わりたくないって
光を射して気付かぬ素振してんだ

近頃の空
やけに狭く映るな
君も同じだろう
不安抱きしめてんだろう

君が苦しめられない保証が
この街にもあれば
勇気なしで背中押したけど
未だ気がかりだよ
強がる時が来たとしたら
これはチャンスだって
君ならきっと
笑い飛ばせてるよね

このカラダまだ行けるさ
ゲームはまだ終わっちゃいないさ
愛を見失ってしまう時代だ
自分を守り生きていく時代だ
何かを守る為に
愛を伏せるなんて不細工だ

愛を見失ってしまう時代だ
街も求めているんだ
自分を守り生きていく時代だ
だからこそタマシイが
愛を刻もう傷ついたりもするんだけど
痛みだけは忘れたくないんだ

Je veux marcher tout droit. Et l'arc en ciel est là.

C'est ça.

"You need to understand why you are doing this. It is a dangerous sport, you risk your life all the time. You shouldn't waste your life. It's very important before you move, to know why you move, why you do it. The training that you do have to be useful in your life. It has to bring you something. You have to ask yourself if it is really important in your life. If you think the answer is yes, then you will ask less questions to yourself, when you train. Because you are going to be free. And you know why you do it. No doubts."

-Williams Belle (one of Yamakasi founders), speaking to trainees at Parkour Generations Rendezvous 4

I watched Generation Yamakasi (the documentary) after stumbling across a clip of the Yamakasi guys being featured on Ripley's Believe It or Not, and I really felt moved. It's not just the physique, but these guys have a philosophy. The physique is important too, I think... I really felt, when I watched them move, that this is what the human body is capable of and it is really amazing. And yet I, and many people, have lived a life ignoring this body and not letting it reach the potential it is capable of. I do not think I can just start now and train and become good like this, but I feel a positive impact, and I wish to become much healthier, much more aware of the environment, the real time, the body and the mind.

I hope that I won't forget this too fast... I hope to have this feeling in me. I want to be alive.

They are always saying, "Why do you do it?" If you know why you are doing something, you will overcome fear, and you will be free. I am not doing a risky sport. But in the things that I do everyday, the path that I am walking, the path that I have chosen, I very often waver and have doubts. They say that when they fight, it is not with others but with themselves, to become stronger. The next time I am troubled and my mind is confused, as it is often and as it is now, I will try to remember, to know why I am doing it, to defeat the fear and become stronger, calmer, and better.

"How they survive, I don't know. Where they get their food from, I have no idea. I just wish that they themselves realize that their existence and survival is an impossibility."

- David Attenborough commenting on the overwhelming presence of leeches in a New Guinea forest where pigs and humans are rare, after plucking one off his leg. BBC documentary "A Blank on the Map", 1971.



He's hilarious... but more than this, it's what he said near the end that is gonna stay with me...

After having met the Biani tribespeople for the first time, he said that the point is not about how different we are, how they have wooden pegs in their noses and "we eat bits of cow meat wrapped up in a cunning way in bits of metal. It's not the differences between us that are important, but the similarities. It's the fact that when one of us laughs, the other knows what he's feeling."

まるで都市みたい

I dreamt that I was in a hotel... my room was right next to the lift landing. I remembered thinking, the last time that happened was at Ronchamp... But that was of course dream reality... I was never in Romchamp...

The quality was slightly like Unite de Habitation at Marseilles though... the colours a little like it... a little like La Tourette too, maybe.



When was the last time I stayed in a room right next to the lift landing? I can't remember... but it felt deserted, and a little cold. The concrete was smooth...

白云纯白色

下了一整天的雨

雨还没停

有点冷

听了以前喜欢的歌

想起了一些日子

「終りの来ない夜に君は一人怯えてる
怖いほど安らいだ君の素顔見られたら」

ー"Dear Blue" 黒夢

想飞

"When you can't run from the storm, turn around and go head-on into it."

- Advice from sea survival experts (Surviving Disaster - Lost at Sea)

Carnival

October 4, 2008, Nottingham, UK


Nottingham Goose Fair, since 1284

飛行

August 18, 2008, From Singapore to Rome

I'm sorry.

25

二十代のうちに沢山経験して失敗して、思い残す事のない二十代を過ごしてくださいなう！！

二十代は失敗ばかりのはち。
でも後悔はしてないなう（苦笑）


- Post by Hisayoshi Suganuma in DABA blog (2011年01月11日)



Translation:

When you're in your twenties, experience lots of things and make lots of failures. Make it a twenties with no lingering regrets!

This is Hachi, who had nothing but failures in his twenties.
But I do not regret it (bitter laugh)

DABA is a seiyuu (anime voice actor/actress) unit formed by six seiyuus born in 1978. I used to read their blog pretty often because I like Fukuyama Jun. Anyway, I just wanted to put this post down here...


--- --- ---




I will be exactly in the middle of my twenties in six months' time. For the past couple of years, I've been changing... and when I thought I couldn't change anymore, I continued to change. Especially in the past year, I've started to see things that I didn't or couldn't see before. I wish to become a better person, more worthy of Him. I had been so arrogant in the past. I will never be so again. If I am able to walk in the sun, it will only be because He saved me.

背後の暗闇

I forgot how I got to it, but I spent the last couple of hours reading Ryutaro's twitter and catching up on Plastic Tree...

Ryu-chan fell sick on Dec 21 with a fever, and was diagnosed with the Guillain-Barré syndrome... It was really worrying, but it seems that he's getting much better already... I hope so. I haven't been listening to Plastic Tree very much recently, but they were really an important part of what sustained my youth.

I really liked Ryutaro. I liked the things he wrote - lyrics, prose, observations. And I liked his voice, and I liked their songs. When I was lost in darkness, they made me feel a little better.

Well, I knew they got a new drummer after Bucchi left, but I didn't know anything much because as I said, these days I wasn't listening to them much. But now I think the new drummer is actually really cute! He's called Sato Ken Ken. He reminds me of Miyavi, actually. It seems like he's really sweet too, like how he hugged that little kid who acted as the young Ken Ken in the PV for Mirai Iro, and gave him his drum sticks as a keepsake. And he visited Ryutaro very often when he was hospitalized. And he sends really funny messages to Ryutaro via Twitter. And one of them is this, I just have to put it here (and Ryu-chan's reply too):

ケンちゃん。俺、香港の港で一分間ぐらい背後の暗闇に話しかけてたよ。みんな、居ると思って。 RT @Pla_kenken: @Pla_ryutaro 有村さん聞いてください。友達と買い物してて「コレいいね」って話しかけたら他人だった時、恥ずかしかですね(涙)それじゃ、もう寝っです。

3:33 AM Nov 18th, 2010 via ついっぷる for iPad
Retweeted by 21 people
Pla_ryutaro
有村　竜太朗

Translation:

Ken Ken: Arimura-san, please listen to this. When one is shopping with a friend, and calls to him "This looks good, doesn't it?", and realizes that it was someone else, it's embarrassing isn't it (::cry::) That's all, I'm going to sleep now.

Ryutaro: Ken-chan. In Hong Kong, at the harbour, I was talking for about a minute to the darkness behind me. Everyone has times like this, I think.

Haha, I think Ryu-chan's reply is super awesome... 'The darkness behind him'. This is why I liked him so much in the past. I still do, perhaps...

Well, this is all I wanted to say, hope Ryu-chan gets much better soon!

Today I took some time to get to know my Nikon D60 dslr... I bought it in 2008, just before I left for Europe.

The one above is a zoomed-in picture of the eave above my window. It has a small hole, beyond that is the sky. The rough texture is that of the painted concrete.


And this one below is a portrait of Garfield and Pooky (albeit pink), and a miniature Le Corbusier armchair in the background - all sitting on top of my computer.